


Running Away (but only from you)

by gaitorbait55



Series: Life Sucks [2]
Category: The 100
Genre: Angst, F/F, Fluff, smut more than likely later
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-29
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2018-05-23 23:46:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 8,746
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6134218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaitorbait55/pseuds/gaitorbait55
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke's life was never the same after her father died. From her mom, to Finn, to schools. Everything was going wrong until Lexa came. </p><p>After certain events she did what she thought would be best for the both of them: She ran away.</p><p>From Lexa; the girl who held her, protected, loved her.</p><p>Will Lexa get her back?</p><p>[Sequeal to "I don't care (what they say about you)"]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Gone

**Author's Note:**

> Finally got around to posting. Hope you enjoy. Chapters will get longer, but the first few are kind of informational and stuff so....yeah. lol enjoy!

_ “I’m sorry Lex..”  _

 

_ “But I can’t let you get hurt...not because of me…I...I’ve fallen in love with you...I’m sorry for that...you can’t keep falling deeper into my world...you can’t love someone who can’t love themselves..”  _

 

_ “May we meet again.” _

 

___________

___________

 

Lexa stretched as she woke, a lazy grin spread on her face. A quiet groan escaped her mouth as she patted the space next to her. It was empty, and cold. Her smile quickly disappeared as she snapped open her eyes. She looked over to the now cold spot on her bed then looked around at her room; praying to every god out there that Clarke’s bag was still in it’s spot on the floor. That Clarke hadn’t had run off in the middle of the night. That Clarke was  _ not gone _ . 

 

But she knew it was true. Clarke’s bag was not where they left it. Another glance around and she saw that almost all of Clarke’s things were gone as well.

 

_ No… _

 

Lexa lept out of the bed, not even bothering with changing out of her pj’s as she sprinted out her bedroom and down the hall towards her sister’s room.

 

“Anya!!!” Lexa shouted as she ran, before she started pounding on the door. “Anya!! For fuck’s sake! Anya!”

 

“What the flying  _ fuck _ do you want?!” Anya snarled as she threw the door open. “It’s not even 6 am yet!”

 

“She’s gone!” Lexa said breathlessly. 

 

“What?” The older girl asked, confusion written all over her face, her anger slowly subsiding.

 

“She’s gone!” Lexa said again. “I- she was here when I fell asleep! But- then- she wasn’t when I woke!” 

 

“Lexa,” Anya said, trying to calm the hysterical brunette down. “Who’s gone?”

 

“Clarke!” 

 

Anya’s eyes widened as Lexa answered. She muttered a curse.

 

“Okay, first you need to calm down.” Anya told her, knowing that Lexa was in no state to do anything.

 

“Calm down?” Lexa breathed, anger in her voice. “How the fuck do I calm down? She left! She doesn’t have anywhere to go!” She paused, her voice cracking. “Oh god this is all my fault.”

 

“Hey, hey.” Anya said, pulling the younger girl close to her. “It’s not your fault.”

 

“Yes it is.” Lexa said, shutting her eyes to prevent tears from falling. “We...we..last night we kind of fought…”

 

“What did you fight about?” Anya asked calmly, keeping her voice even. She’d never seen Lexa this hysterical before. Not even when she used to have break downs when she was younger.

 

“She..she wanted to leave last night..” Lexa whispered. “I..I talked her out of it..but it took me… I kissed her…”

 

“Oh Lex..”

 

“I must have...scared her off..” Lexa said, choking back a sob. “I didn’t mean...I didn’t..”

 

“Hey, shh.” Anya said, wrapping her arms around the smaller girl. “Look.” She said, pulling back to look in Lexa’s eyes. “You have done everything right by that girl. She is just in a really dark place at the moment. I’ll admit, kissing her may or may not have been the right move-” She held up her finger as Lexa opened her mouth to speak. “-but if you said she was already trying to leave before, then perhaps it wasn’t something you did?”

 

“What?” Lexa asked, perplexed.

 

“From what you’ve told me, everything was going good, right?” Anya asked, receiving a nod. “Then maybe something happen that she didn’t tell you?”

 

“I..I don’t know..” Lexa said, knitting her eyebrows together.

 

“Think. Has her attitude or anything changed lately?” Anya asked, watching Lexa’s face.

 

“Now that I think of it…” Lexa began with a frown. “After...when we went to the mall, she went to the bathroom. Before she was okay, smiled a little..but after, she was distant. Like really distant, much more than before. She was quiet, barely made a sound.. unless it was yes or no she didn’t answer..” Lexa balled her fist, mentally cursing herself for not seeing the signs before.

 

“Fuck I’m an idiot.”

 

“No, you’re not.” Anya said with a small smile, “You were busy, trying to balance your life and hers.”

 

“What do I do now though?” Lexa said with a miserable sigh, rubbing her forehead with the palm of her hand. She felt Anya’s armas wrap back around her and leaned against her best friend/sister. She felt like a little kid again; when she would sit down and cry and Anya would come over to comfort her. She hadn’t had this type of comfort for a long time and didn’t realize how much she had missed it until now.

 

“We’ll find her, kid.” Anya promised, kissing the top of her head.

 

“How?” Lexa whispered, clutching at Anya’s shirt.

  
“Not sure yet, but we’ll figure it out.” Anya replied. “I won’t let you go through this alone.” She held the younger girl for a few more moments before pulling back. “Now; tell me everything that’s happen within the last few days?”


	2. Emori

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa's first stop in getting Clarke back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sadly Clare isn't in this just yet, either the next chapter or the one after that will be Clarke centered. I'll be going back and forth between Clarke's story line (running away) and Lexa's (finding her).
> 
> Like I said before, these chapters will get longer as the story goes on. Especially with the information I'll be giving you guys. I'm thinking this story will have roughly 10 chapters? But I'm not to sure. Will have a happy ending either way, so :)
> 
> Wanted to go ahead and post this now because I got with writing this much earlier than expected tbh. I had like 4 hours to kills so...yeah.. anyway comments are appreciated <3 tell me your thoughts and theories! I love hearing them, plus sometimes they give me more inspiration. :)

“Which way now?” Anya asked, keeping her eyes on the road as she asked the brunette next to her.

 

“Make a right, then it should be up the road on the left.” Lexa answered, tapping impatiently on the seat’s arm with her fingers. They were on the way to Murphy’s house; Lexa remembering Clarke mention where it was at one point in time and was surprised she still remembered it.

 

“How do you know he’s going to know where she is?” The older girl asked.

 

“I don’t know for sure…” Lexa sighed, running a ran through her hair. “But he and Clarke were close, you know that.” Anya hummed in reply. “Clarke told him just about everything in her life. If anyone knows anything, he does.”

 

“Well we’re about to find out.” Anya said as she parked into the driveway of a one story house. A black cadillac was also parked in the driveway. Anya whistled at it as she got out. “Damn that’s a nice ride.”

 

“Yeah.” Lexa murmured before walking up to the door, knocking on it right away. It took a few moments for the door to open, but when it did, instead of Murphy and woman answered. The woman looked to be in her early 20’s and was tanned, with dark brown hair tied back. She had on a dark grey tank top, black sweats, and a beanie. She also supported a tribal looking tattoo on her face.

 

“Well you ain’t John.” The woman said, chewing on a peice of gum.

 

“Neither are you.” Lexa responded, earning a small smirk from the woman.

 

“Hell no. Name’s Emori.” The woman said, looking at Lexa then at Anya. “And who would you be?”

 

“Anya,” Anya told her before pointing to Lexa, “Lexa.” 

 

“Any particular reason you two are here?” Emori asked, leaning against the doorframe.

 

“We need to speak to Murphy.” Lexa said, her eyes looked past Emori’s body, trying to look into the house.

 

“He’s not here.” Emori said, looking at Lexa.

 

“Well when will he be back?” Lexa asked, suppressing the urge to roll her eyes.

 

“Not sure.” Emori said with a shrug. “Said he had some important business to take care of last night and said he wouldn’t be back till this afternoon.”

 

“Last night?” Anya asked with a frown. “What was he doing?”

 

“Dunno.” Emori replied. “Only told me in was important, legal, and not to worry.”

 

“Damn it.” Lexa muttered, running a hand through her hair. She was pretty sure Murphy’s ‘important reason’ was Clarke. “I really need to talk to him.”

 

“You can come in and wait for him, should be back soon.” She said, standing up straight. “I just need to know one thing.”

 

“Shoot.” Lexa said.

 

“How do you know John?” Emori asked, crossing her arms over her chest. “You two don’t seem like the type to hang around him.” She didn’t need to clarify what she meant by ‘type.’

 

“Our friend, Clarke, is really close to him.” Lexa told her.

 

“Oh.” Emori’s eyes widened slightly as realization dawned on her. “You’re Clarke’s friends.”

 

“What? How do you know Clarke?” Lexa asked, taking a step forward. 

 

“Woah, relax kid.” Emori said, looking down at her. “I’m John’s girlfriend, that’s how I know Clarke. She used to come over here every other day.” She shrugged. “She talked about you two every now and then, but I haven’t seen her in awhile.”

 

“Oh.” Lexa sighed in frustration, wanting so badly to know where the girl was. She felt Anya’s hand on her shoulder squeezing it gently.

 

“If we could stay a bit, we’d be grateful.” Anya said after a moment. 

 

“Already said you could.” Emori said before stepping back to allow them in. The two girls walked into the house, glancing around. This was the first time either of them had been in Murphy’s home before. The house was surprisingly clean, Lexa didn’t take Murphy as a ‘clean’ person, but lately she’s come to find that she shouldn't judge a book by it’s cover. 

 

“You guys want anything to drink?” Emori asked as she lead them to the living room, then walked into the kitchen which was next to the living room. “Got water, iced tea, uh, whiskey, bourbon I think.”

 

“Water.” Anya said as she sat next to Lexa on the living room’s couch. Emori came back a minute later with two glasses of water and a cigarette hanging from her mouth. After giving them the glasses, she sat down on the chair across from them, putting her sock clad feet up onto the coffee table. Awkward silence filled the room after that.

 

“So uh,” Lexa started, trying to fill the awkward void. “How long have you and Murphy been dating?”

 

“Three years now?” Emori said, scrunching up her nose. “Around there.”

 

“How did you meet?”

 

“That’s a funny story.” Emori said with a smirk and a chuckle. “I pickpocketed him one day. He knew I did, followed me and didn’t say anything until we were about ten blocks out. He then caught up to me and casually asked for my name and number, plus his things back.”

 

“Really?” Anya asked with a frown.

 

“Really.” Emori nodded, tagging a drag from the cigarette. “He was the first person to notice I pickpocketed them in five years, so I said sure. Plus he didn’t turn me to the cops.”

 

“That’s...interesting.” Lexa said. She could see it though, the two of them working as a couple. From the few times Lexa had talked to Murphy, he was a sarcastic trash prince, as Clarke would call him. Emori seemed like an equal fit for him.

 

They were saved from more awkward silence when the front door opened. 

 

“Emori?” Murphy’s voice sounded as the sound of footsteps came closer.

 

“Living room!” Emori called, not bothering getting up from her spot on the couch. 

 

“Who’s care is-” He started to ask but paused when he saw Lexa and Anya. He sighed and shook his head. “Well..can’t say I wasn’t expecting you.”

 

“Where is she?” Lexa asked, standing up. Murphy put his hands on his hips, sighed again before he looking up at the ceiling. 

 

“I can’t tell you.” He finally said after a few moments.

 

“Why the hell  not?” Lexa said through gritted teeth.

 

“Yo what’s going on?” Emori said, standing up. Frowning at the seething rage Lexa had on her.

 

“Clarke left last night.” Anya informed her. 

 

“So that’s why you left last night?” Emori asked Murphy. 

 

“Yeah it was.” He said with a frown of his own. “And I can’t tell you because I honestly don’t know where she is going. She only asked me to take her to a bus stop. But.. she wanted to do this….she, she doesn’t want you following after her.” He told her softly, guilt gnawing at him. He’ll never forget the teary eyed, sobbing mess of a girl he found on his porch that morning; begging him to drive her.

 

“Why did she leave…” Lexa said to no one in particular as she sat back down, a defeated look on her face.

 

“I don’t know..” He sighed back, clearly distressed. Emori walked over and wrapped an arm around his waist, looking between him and Lexa sadly.

 

“I’m going after her.” Lexa said, looking up at him.

 

“I didn’t expect anything else to be honest.” He said with a small smirk. Both of these girls were too stubborn for their own good. 

 

Lexa nodded before getting up and walking towards the front door,  ready to leave with Anya, when Murphy called them back.

 

“Lexa, wait.” He said, walking up to them.

 

“Yeah?” She asked, curiously.

 

“If you want some answers as to why Clarke left, visit Abby’s place.” He told her.

 

“Abby?” Anya asked with a frown. “Isn’t that her mom?”

 

“Yes…” Lexa said, confused. “Why?

 

“Just do it…” He said with a grim expression. “Trust me, it will explain a few things.”

 

“Alright.” Lexa nodded to him before turning back to the door. “Thank you Murphy.”

  
“Don’t thank me.” He said as they left. “Just bring her back safely.”


	3. NOT A CHAPTER

Okay... that episode last night...

 

I cried several times during the entire thing tbh. 

 

I cried for a long time over the clexa scene (ya'll know what I'm talking about ;)) then I cried....so so much when Lexa... DX

 

I'll admit, I kind of thought Lexa would die this episode. BUT NOT LIKE THAT. That came SO unexpected! I figured Titus would injure Clarke, then a small fight happens or something but....mah baby.... FUCK.

 

This show keeps getting better and better in my opinion. With it's twists and turns, so many things have been happening!!!!! 

 

And the CoL! Now that it's all starting to come together....If I thought that Season 2 was mind blowing, this season is explosively good. Like damn....

 

When Titus pulled that thing out of Lexa's neck, I had to stop crying for a second and I was the "What the flying fuck is that" face. Anyone else? So many questions still need answered! 

 

Tbh now that we know Lexa won't be seen till like Episode 11, I can almost positive it's going to be because Clarke sees her in the CoL (though how Clarke goes there...damn I'd rather not thing about it tbh)

 

Sorry, had to rant a bit. 

 

P.s I freaking love Murphy tbh

 

P.s.s fuck off titus. Go stand over there  by the balcony so I can kick you off

 

P.P.p.s fuck you Jason. I love and hate you soooooooo

UPDATE: GUYS I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Remember how Lexa said "death is not the end?"

O_O City. Of. Light.

Fuck me.


	4. Confrontation #1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit gets a bit intense.
> 
> Shit gets a bit engsty.
> 
> A small, very small, glimpse of Clarke. Somewhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So so so sorry I haven't updated this in a while. Many things came into factor for this. Number one being personal life. From school, where I had to write a 3 page essay in a week, to home (still depressed as fuck there sadly) and my other fanfic I started writing "Angel With a Shotgun." It's a lexark ;) I'm clexa trash so that happened lol. 
> 
> Anyways, somethings happen in this chapter. Idk, tbh I don't really like this chapter all that much. I rewrote it like three times, and it still came out as awkward to me. Oh well. And part of me did cringe as I wrote it, you'll see why.

“So why are we headin’ to this bitch’s place?” Anya asked as she drove them to Abby’s house. Well, trailer.

 

“Murphy said to go there.” Leza responded, her knee bouncing up and down. “I don’t know anymore than you do. But..he wouldn't have told us to go there if there wasn’t a reason.”

 

“And you trust him?” Anya asked, skeptically.

 

“Clarke does.” Lexa responded. 

 

“Fair enough.” Anya muttered. “Here we are.” She said before parking in front of Clarke’s former home. Lexa climbed out of her car, followed by Anya. The older girl glanced around, noticing how there was trash all over the yard. There wasn’t much grass, and what wasn’t grass was weeds. The neighborhood, if you could call it that, looked rough and unfriendly. 

 

“Last time we were here I didn’t really pay attention to the outside.” Anya commented. “But now, just looking at outside, it doesn’t look like a friendly place Lex.” She commented. 

 

“It’s not.” Lexa said quietly. She clenched her fists as she remembered all the things she’d witness happen to Clarke here. Anya pursed her lips and nodded. She was glad Lexa got Clarke away from this place. She had heard many things about the blonde, and after witnessing one or two things, she was glad her best friend had managed the get the girl away.

 

“You think she’d even here?” Anya asked as they walked up to the trailer. She frowned as she saw a car parked not to far away, but it easily could have been mistake as the next trailer’s car. Lexa opened her mouth to respond, but they were both interrupted by a loud thump from inside the trailer, followed by a groan.

 

“The fuck?” Anya asked. They heard another thump and a pleasured scream. “Of fucking hell.” The older girl’s face twisted in disgust as both girls realized what was going on.

 

“Fuck.” Lexa muttered as she tried to unhear what they had just heard.

 

“Well what now?” Anya said, looking at the trailer in disdain.

 

“Nothing we can do but wait.” Lexa sighed. As much as she hated even being there, she had to get answers.

 

“You're kidding?” Anya asked. “I don’t want to be listening to that the entire time.”

 

“Hopefully you won’t need to.” Lexa said before taking a seat on the ground a few feet away from the trailer. She sat facing the door to the trailer, so that the second it opened she would spring up.

 

“Fucking great.” Anya sighed before sitting next to her friend. They sat in complete silence for a few moments. The only sounds that could be heard were the few thumps here and there from the trailer. Anya tried to drown out the noise, but wasn’t having such luck. She glared at the door before glancing at Lexa. The brunette was staring hard at the door, but her gaze was slightly unfocused. As if she was in deep thought.

 

“Hey kid.” Anya said softly, gently nudging her.

 

“Hmm?” Lexa hummed back, not taking her eyes off of the door.

 

“We’ll find her.” Anya said, leaning forward a bit to rest her elbows on her knees, and rested her head in her hands. The smaller brunette stayed quiet for a moment, wringing her fingers together.

 

“Anya…” Lexa said quietly. “What...what if we can’t? What if.. I’ve lost her..?” Tears filled her eyes.

 

“Hey.” Anya said, nudging her again “Don’t think like that.”

 

“But…” Lexa swallowed thickly. “I..I can’t..I can’t go through that again…I already lost…”

 

“Costia?” Anya supplied gently. Lexa nodded.

 

“It was my fault...just like this time.” Lexa said, voice cracking. “I drove them both away...the only thing different this time is that one of them is still alive…”

 

“Lexa.” Anya said, softly but sternly. “We will find her again. You have to stop thinking like this though.”

 

“But-”

 

“But nothing.” Anya said, giving her a fierce look. “Clarke is not Costia. And none of this was your fault. All this girl has ever had in her life was shitty things. You though, you are the first non shitty thing to happen in her life. She’s just scared. You of all people should know this”

 

“I do..” Lexa said with a small sigh. “And that’s why I’m scared...what happened to me, it took me awhile to get over it and it was only a small moment in my life. But Clarke...this was her life for a long time...I just..what if she..she doesn’t want to come back? What if she doesn’t want me?”

 

“Lex.” Anya began, wrapping an arm around the smaller girl. “I’m not going to sugar coat things. That girl is a bit fucked in the head; we all know it. But like I told you before, you’ve been probably one of the only good things to happen in her life. When we find her, when not if, just talk to her. Hell, if you want I’ll go talk to her. I’ll make her see how great you are.” She said the last bit playfully.

 

“Anya.” Lexa mock scolded but smiled slightly. “Thank you.” She said softly, drying her tears.

 

“No problem little Lex.” 

 

“God I hate that nickname.”

 

“More so than Commander?”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

___________

 

The two friends waited for another 10 minutes before the door to the trailer opened. A dark haired man walked out, followed by a disheveled looking Abby. Lexa and Anya stood from their spot a few feet away, unnoticed by the two adults.

 

“Same time next week?” The man asked as he handed Abby some cash.

 

“Of course.” Abby purred before the man grinned and departed. Lexa watched the two in disgust. How anyone could just sell themselves like this, she didn’t know. It was disgraceful and disgusting. Once the man started walking away, the two girls immediately walked over to Abby. When Abby saw them, her fake smiled dropped and a glare took over her face.

 

“What are you two doing here?” Abby asked, voice harden in anger.

 

“Where’s Clarke?” Lexa immediately asked, glaring right back at the woman.

 

“My disgrace of a daughter?” Abby asked, looking down at her nails. “Show should I know?”

 

“Listen here bitch,” Anya growled. “We know you had something to do with her disappearance.” Lexa glanced at Anya, knowing the girl was fibbing. They honestly had no idea if Abby really did have something to do with Clarke taking off. But then Lexa saw Abby’s eyes widened just a fraction, and she knew Anya had the right approach.

 

“Well she’s not here, if that’s what you are wondering.” Abby said, hands on her hips. “She’ll pay for that; not upholding our deal.” 

 

“What deal?” Lexa asked, clenching her fists and trying to control her anger. Abby looked at her, giving her a sick smile before answering.

 

“She’s quite fond of you, you know.” Abby said with a sneer. “Which sickens me like nothing else. How my bastard child could have ever thought someone would take interest in her.” 

 

“What the fuck did you do to her.” Lexa snapped, taking a step forward.

 

“Nothing you need to worry about; well, anymore that is.” Abby replied. “Though the bitch did owe me.”

 

“She didn’t owe you anything.” Anya growled. “If anyone owed anyone anything, it would have been you. You owe your daughter a hell of a lot more than what you’ve given.”

 

“Really now?” Abby asked, seemingly bored. “And what would you know about all this?” She narrowed her eyes as she looked over Anya. “Clarke never mentioned you.”

 

“Doesn’t matter who I am.” Anya glared at her. “Now are you going to answer Lexa’s question, or do I have to make you give them to us.”

 

“Threatening now?” Abby asked with a laugh. Lexa seethed with rage as the woman laughed. She opened her mouth to yell, but was cut off when Anya slammed Abby into the side of the trailer.

 

“Get the fuck off me!” Abby snarled, spit flying as she tried to get the younger girl away from her. Anya had her right arm pinned against Abby’s throat. The other holding down her chest.

 

“Answer the goddamn question.” Anya snapped back. Lexa glared at Abby, but couldn’t help but look at her friend with awe. She’d only seen this side of Anya a handful of times throughout her life. Once when she was little and was bullied by a group of kids. They learned not to mess with her soon after. Another time was when she had first came out as gay, Anya made sure people know not to fuck with her. And another after Lexa’s parents had first died, then with Costia's death on top of that, when Lexa had gone through her period breakdowns, depression, and suicidal thoughts.

 

“Fuck off.” Lexa was brought out of her thoughts by the two growling women in front of her. Anya applied more pressure to Abby’s windpipe, making her gasp and choke.

 

“Not going to ask again.” Anya said, almond brown glaring hard into darker brown.

 

“Fine.” Abby coughed. “I saw her at the mall- _ fuck _ -” She gasped for air when Anya let up a bit. “I told her to get her ass back home; where she belongs.”

 

“What did you tell her would happen if she didn’t.” Lexa asked.

 

“I told her-” Abby coughed again. “-told her I’d come after her sorry ass; your’s too.” Anya growled loudly as Abby responded; more pissed off that Abby had the nerve to threaten Clarke with Lexa’s safety.

 

“Why did you want her back?” Lexa asked, trying to control her rage once more. After hearing what Abby told Clarke, she was beyond pissed. How could someone, let alone Clarke’s own mother, be this horrid? “You kicked her out in the first place. Why bring her back?”

 

“You don’t want to hear.” Abbya said with a grin, chuckling deeply. There was a dangerous glint in her eye.

 

“Answer bitch.” Anya said and moved her arm over her windpipe again.

 

“She- I had some guys wanting someone younger, fresher.” Abby told them, once Anya let her breath.

 

“What the fuck.” Lexa growled out, glaring even harder at Abby. Anya stared at Abby in astonishment once she took in Abby’s words fully. “How could you...you want to sell your own daughter, to pigs like that?!”

 

“I have to get money somehow.” Abby stated, as if it were the most simplest thing in the world.

 

“If I ever see you anywhere near Clarke or Lexa again,” Anya said after a moment of silence between the three of them. “I’ll call the cops on your fucking ass, and I’ll make sure you’re locked up for a fucking long time for what you’ve done.”

 

“Fuck you.” Abby growled. “You have no proof.”

 

“Once we find Clarke we do.” Lexa spoke up, green eyes glaring at the woman. “I’ve seen the marks and scars you left on her.”

 

“My daughter would never run against me.” Abby said with confidence. “I’ve trained her to well for her to be disobedient.” Anya rolled her eyes before slamming Abby back against the trailer, then swiftly punching her in the face. Abby cried out before hitting the floor.

 

“Then you obviously don’t know your daughter well enough.” Anya said, putting her foot on Abby’s chest. “Swear you’ll never come near them again. Or I’ll fucking kill you now.”

 

“You wouldn’t.” Abby said, appearing confident but they could hear the fear laced in her voice.

 

“Want to fucking try me?” Anya growled, pressing her foot down even harder.

 

“Fine-fuck!” Abby exclaimed from the pain in her face and now her chest. Anya rolled her eyes before stepping back. She spat on the ground next to the woman on the ground.

 

“Lexa?” She asked, looking at the younger girl in thought. “Ready to go?”

 

“Yeah.” Lexa responded, turning to walk away, but not before looking at Abby once more time. “Never come near Clarke again, or I’ll kill you myself.” She said darkly before walking with Anya towards her truck.

 

“That was intense.” Anya said as they drove away.

 

“And still almost no answers to where Clarke could be.” Lexa sighed, putting her head on her hands. She lifted her head slightly, before resting it on her fists. An idea formed in her head; one that both she and Anya were going to hate even more than coming to Abby’s.

 

“Hey kid.”Anya said, glancing at her. “I can see that look. What’s up?”

 

“I have an idea.” Lexa said slowly.

 

“Uh oh.” Anya said. “Did it hurt to think?”

 

“Shut up.” Lexa said with a small smile. “There’s someone else we need to talk to.”

 

“I’m not going to like this, am I?”

 

“Drive to the prison.”

 

“Fuck. Knew I wasn’t going to like it.”

 

________________________

 

_______________________

 

Clarke walked down the sidewalk of the neighborhood, backpack thrown over one shoulder. It was raining and her clothes were soaked through, having walked from the bus station to here. She walked past each house, until she got to the one whose address she memorized by heart. 

 

She walked up to the door, nervously playing with the bracelet on her wrist, and knocked on the door. She prayed that the girl still lived here, and that it was the right address.

 

“Yo?” She heard as the door started opening. “I told you sales people not to-” The girl stopped, choking on her own words. “C-Clarke?”

  
“Hey Raven…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Btw...THIS FANDOM WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME. Swear to god.
> 
> I log off for one day; then come back to fun #finestudlexa and SO MUCH SIN. Like OMG every other fic was sin, so much sin. Ya'll, this fandom has some thirsty af little beans. 
> 
> And I love it. Best fandom to be in <3 happy to be in it.
> 
>  
> 
> Also, if anyone wants to talk find me on tumblr: the-100-cats 


	5. Confrontation #2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa and Anya visit Finn.
> 
> Raven's pov a bit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I deeply apologies for the very, very late update. Ya'll are probably really tired of hearing this, but I've been dealing with really bad depression for the past 2-4 weeks and I've had writers block because of it. I tried to write, I just coulnd't. But I'm back, doing a bit better but things are complicated at my home at the moment. 
> 
> Again, I'm sorry but I should be back on track now. I'll be updating "Angel With A Shotgun" either tonight tomorrow as well.

“Finn Collins?” The lady at the desk asked in a monotone voice, the rims of her glasses hanging low on her nose.

 

“Yes.” Lexa responded, trying not to sound impatient, but this lady was seriously starting to piss her off.

 

“No one’s really on his visiting list.” The girl said, chewing a stick of gum loudly.

 

“I realize that.” Lexa said, tapping her fingers against the wall. “This will probably be the only time I ever visit him. So if you would please allow me in.” 

 

“You also do realize visiting hours end in like, a half hour?” The girl asked as she stared at her boredly, popping a bubble in her gum.

 

“Yes.” Lexa bit out, just wanting to get this over with. The girl shrugged before turning to the computer on her left. Lexa clenched her teeth, turning away before she decked the girl in the mouth.

 

“Any luck?” Anya said as she stepped next to the shorter girl. Lexa glanced back at the girl typing before shrugging at Anya.

 

“So freaking clue to be honest.” The brunette sighed, running a hand through her hair. “I feel like killing someone right now.” She muttered.

 

“Might not want to say that in a prison.” Anya said with a chuckle.

 

“Ma’am?” The gum chewer said to them, making both girls turn to her. “Here’s your tags.” She said, giving them each a sticker with their names on it. “Go through that hallway, towards the metal detectors then they’ll point the way.” Gum chewer said before going back to her computer. Lexa walked towards the hallway without saying a thanks to the girl, Anya following her. They walked down a semi narrow hallway until they got to the end of the hallway. There they found three guards by a metal detector.

 

“Alright Ma’ams.” One of the guards said as he approached them. “Just empty out your pockets and step through.” They did as they were told. Both just had their cellphones, keys, and some money on them. The guards gave them their things back and directed them towards the visiting room. They were pointed to a table at the back of the room that sat four people. They didn’t have to wait long till Finn came through the prisoner door. The boy looked around the room with a frown, not expecting any visitors.

 

“This way Collins.” They heard a guard say gruffly to the boy, pointing him in the direction of the two girls. When Finn caught their eyes he gave them an amused look before walking over.

 

“Well, well, well.” He said as he sat down. “What do I owe the pleasure of two gorgeous girls here?”

 

“Quit the charm Collins.” Lexa growled, anger flaring through her that he had the audacity to act like this towards them.

 

“Fine fine.” He held up his hands in mock surrender. “How’s my girl Clarke?” He asked, changing the topic.

 

“Clarke is not your girl.” Lexa snapped at him. Finn chuckled and shook his head, having too much fun getting the girl riled up.

 

“Enough.” Anya cut in when Finn was about to reply. “We came to get your help with something.” Lexa turned her head and glared at the floor when Finn smirked at Anya’s statement. She hated that they had to come here, but they needed to find out some things from Clarke’s past that would help them find the blonde haired girl.

 

“Wow.” Finn said with a grin. “First off, you must be really desperate to come all the way over here for my help.” He leaned back in his chair, getting more comfortable. “Second, what makes you think I’m actually going to help?” Lexa glared darkly at him. Truth was there wasn’t really anything she could do to him. Not legally at least. She just prayed to whomever was watching up above that the boy had at least a hint of humanity still left in him to help.

 

“I don’t know.” Lexa answered truthfully, surprising Finn, who though she was going to threaten him. “I can only hope you would.” Finn tilted his head, looking at her then looking at Anya.

 

“What do you want to know?” He asked cautiously. Lexa sighed in relief. Hopefully they would finally have a lead.

 

_____________________

 

Raven sighed as she poured coffee into the blue mug in her kitchen. She mixed some sugar into it before leaning her back against the counter, taking a small sip of the liquid. Her thoughts wandered to the blonde haired girl sleeping in her bed upstairs.

 

When she opened the door earlier that morning, she was not expecting to find a drenched Clarke standing with a backpack at her door. Once she got over the initial shock, she pulled the girl into her home. The two didn’t speak as Raven helped get the girl out of her wet clothes and into some dry ones. After that Raven grabbed the girl some hot tea and sat her down on her couch. It didn’t take long for Clarke to break down and tell Raven everything that had happened recently.

 

Raven’s hands tightened around her mug as she remembered the crying mess Clarke was as she told the brunette about Finn coming back. She held Clarke as the girl sobbed and sobbed as she let everything out. She had to keep herself composed as she held the younger girl, trying not to cry as well. Clarke had eventually cried herself to sleep, hours later.

 

Guilt gnawed at Raven as she thought about all the shit the poor girl had gone through after Raven left town. She wished she never had to move, but her parents had been so paranoid about Finn. They freaked and left town, not wanting their girl anywhere near a ‘problem child like Clarke.’ 

 

“Shit.” Raven cursed as she rubbed her head as she thought about her parents. They were gone a business trip that would last another week or so, at least Raven hopped. She didn’t know what she would do or say once they came back home. She sighed. She would deal with that when they actually came home. For now she had enough to deal with upstairs. Though Clarke had told her most of things that happened, with Finn and Abby, she wasn’t able to get much information about some girl named Lexa. She got snippets, like how Lexa was a new student and she also knew that the two of them were close but she didn’t know how close. 

 

A headache was beginning to form in the back of her skull. She groaned lightly as she rubbed her temples. She was so not ready to deal with all this shit right now. But she was going to, for her friend.

 

“R-Raven?” She heard from upstairs.

 

“I’m still here.” Raven called back, setting down her drink and  made her way back upstairs as quickly as she could with her bum leg. She found Clarke standing at the top of the stairs with a blanket over her shoulders.

 

“I-I thought you left.” The blonde said quietly, shaking slightly.

 

“Hey, no.” Raven answered quickly, gathering her in a hug. “I didn’t leave. I just went to get a drink.”

 

“Oh….okay.” Clarke said, nodding in the other girl’s shoulder.

 

“C’mon.” Raven said, nudging her towards the door softly. “Let's get you back to bed.” She felt Clarke nod again and Raven walked back towards her room with her. She helped the blonde in the bed before taking her brace off and climbing in as well. Clarke had her back towards her and Raven could see her shoulders shake a bit, indicating she was crying again. She turned Clarke so she was facing her before she wrapped her arms around the smaller girl, pulling her close. She ran her hand through blonde tresses, humming a song her mother used to sing to her when she was younger, until Clarke fell asleep.

 

She sighed as she watched her sleep, continuing running her hand through her hair. She frowned as she saw all the scars on Clarke’s arms and she had felt them on her back as well. It angered her to see her like this. It seemed like not to long ago Clarke was a happy, bubbly, carefree girl. Now it looked like she’d been through a war and back. And perhaps she did. Raven closed her eyes, willing sleep to come. Hoping tomorrow she’d get even more answers from her friend, wondering whether it was to late or not to help her out.

 

____________________

 

“So what now Commander?” Anya asked once they stepped out of the prison with Lexa. Finn had surprising given them several different things about Clarke that would help tremendously. He had told them the names of Clarke’s best friends, Octavia Blake, Bellamy Blake, and Raven Reyes. 

 

“You want to find her, you find them first.” He had told them. To say Lexa was surprised he had actually given them information was an understatement. But she was grateful he did.

 

“We find out where these people live.” Lexa said, walking towards Anya’s truck. “Then we pay them a visit.”

 

“And how are we going to do that?” Anya asked as she drove them away from the prison. “They could in fucking China for all we know.”

 

“We should head back to Murphy’s... knowing his kind of business he’s got to know someone that can find people.” Lexa said, leaning back in her seat.

 

“This late at night?” Anya asked. Lexa looked at the time, then out the window, only just not realizing how late it was. She sighed in frustration. 

 

“Hey,” Anya said, putting a hand on her knee. “We’ll go first thing in the morning.”

 

“Yeah, but…” Lexa trailed off. She felt tears built up, but refused to let anymore fall. She just wanted to find Clarke.

  
“We will find her Lex.” Anya said softly. “We’ll get a good night’s sleep, then we’ll go.” Lexa just nodded in return, not trusting herself to not break down again if she spoke. She stared out the window, watching the last rays of sunshine disappear. Wondering where the girl she fell in love with, so fast and hard, could be at. She prayed she was safe, wherever she was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kik: gaitorbait55
> 
> Tumbr: the_100_cats
> 
> Instagram: kom_trikru


	6. Lost and Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lexa gets closer to seeing Clarke.
> 
> Clarke finds something she thought she lost long ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow...I have no words for how long this chapter took me. Beleive it or not, it took me over a week to actually write this because I had massive writers block. I had no idea what to write in this chapter, so it's mostly a filler. Hopefully it's alright.

Lexa sighed as she drove towards Murphy’s house. Anya was called into work, after having calling in sick for the past two days, she wasn’t able to skip work again. Lexa wasn’t mad, she understood. She was grateful that Anya even took some time off to help her. Though Anya did tell her that if she needed anything to call her right away and she would leave work.

 

Lexa parked her car outside of Murphy’s home, noticing a small dark blue car next to his and Emori’s car as well. She frowned to herself before getting out and walking to the front door. She knocked and waited a few moments before Murphy opened it.

 

“Hey.” He said as he opened the door, glancing behind her. “No Anya?”

 

“No.” Lexa replied. “She had work; couldn't put it off any longer.”

 

“Ah.” He nodded. “Come in.” He moved to the side to allowed her in. “I take it you went to Abby’s?” He lead her to the living room where Emori was past out of the couch, laying on her back.

 

“Yes.” She said in a clipped tone, her eyes looking over at Emori.

 

“So you know now?” He asked, turning to her, then at Emori. “Sit down if you want.”

 

“About what?” Lexa asked as she sat on a chair a feet away while Murphy sat on the couch, next to Emori. “Abby being a shit eating whore? Or her threatening Clarke and scaring her?”

 

“Both I guess.” He shrugged.

 

“So that’s why Clarke ran?” She asked, running a hand through her brown curls. “Because her mom threatened her? Why didn’t she come tell me? I couldn’t have protected her.”

 

“Lexa.” Murphy said softly. “She didn’t just threaten her; she threatened you too.”

 

“I know.” Lexa said angrily. “That doesn’t explain why she didn’t come tell me. I thought we were connecting. I thought she trusted me..”

 

“She does.” He told her. He continued talking before she could reply. “If she didn’t trust or care about you, then she wouldn't have stayed that long with you or left when she did.”

 

“I don’t understand.” Lexa sighed. She did understand. Why Clarke left. She did understand that Clarke did care, that she trusted Lexa, but her mind was clouded by anger. Anger at Abby. Anger at those who’ve hurt her. Anger at herself for letting the blonde slip through her fingers.

 

“You do.” Murphy stated. “You’re just to worried to see. Clarke did trust you. She stayed with you, allowed you to take care of her. It took me a while until she let me help her; hell she still won’t let me some days, and I’ve known her for years. Yet you’ve managed to help her so many times in a matter of months.” Lexa’s gaze dropped to the floor as she listened, her heart aching for Clarke to be there with her now. “She cares about you as well. You’ve got to take in consideration that Clarke has been bullied and pushed all her life into submission. Been taught to fear others because when they make a threat, they will go through with it. Abby threatened your life, Lexa. Clarke was afraid for your life, that’s why she left. She didn’t want you hurt because of her.”

 

“She told you this...didn’t she?” Lexa asked, her eyes watering slightly the more Murphy spoke.

 

“Yes.” He sighed. 

 

“She’s too kind for this world.” The brunette said after a few moments. Murphy hummed a reply, agreeing wholeheartedly. “How do I find her though?” Lexa asked, blinking away her tears and looking up at Murphy. “I need to find her. Let her know that everything is okay; that everything will be okay. She doesn’t need to be afraid anymore.”

 

“I..can’t really help.” Murphy said with a small sigh. “But-” He continued as he saw Lexa’s dejected look. “I know two kids who might. Jasper; Monty. Get in here.”

 

________________

 

{Clarke Scene}

 

Clarke laid in the tub in Raven’s bathroom. Most of her body was submerged under the water. She had her head lowered just enough for her mouth to be underwater, and had the tips of her toes sticking out as well. She watched the small groups of bubbles float around her, poking a few from under the water’s surface.

 

She laid her head back against the back of the tub, sitting up slightly so that her shoulders and up were above the water. She sighed as she laid there, thinking. Her stomach churned as her thoughts drifted to Lexa. Sweet Lexa, who only tried to help her. She felt guilty leaving the girl behind. She knew Lexa tried her best to help her, stayed with her when no one else. But Clarke also knew that it was taking a toll on Lexa. The brunette had dropped so much in order to help her, and Clarke couldn't allow Lexa to do that anymore. Lexa deserved so much more than what Clarke could provide. 

 

So she left. Doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt. In fact it hurt so much, it felt worse than anything she’d ever felt in her life. It hurt more than whenever her mother would beat her and verbally abuse her. It hurt more than when.. _ He _ showed up and took advantage of her. It hurt worse than when her friends left her alone.

 

A sob made tore its way out of her throat. She didn’t even realize she was shedding tears. She quickly wiped them and let out a shaky breathe. She can’t keep thinking about this, about her.She left her behind, she needed to let go. But she knew it was going to be hard, if not impossible to do so. 

 

She sighed once more before getting out of the tub. She grabbed a towel nearby and dried herself off, before draining the tub. She walked into Raven’s room, then grabbed a simple dark grey long sleeve and ripped jeans. She grabbed her beanie laying next to her bag and shoved her shoes on. She needed air, needed to clear her head. She paused on her way out of the room, spotting a guitar in the corner of the room. Her heart stopped when she realized who’s guitar it was. Her’s. Clarke remembered the day she got it from her father, at the tender age of 5, after begging her parents for one. Her father bought it then proceeded to learn guitar with her, until they were both good at it. Though Jake would always bost on how much better his daughter was.

 

She thought she had gotten rid of it. After her life starting going downhill, she had thrown it out. Thrown it right into a dumpster with tears in her eyes. At the time she couldn't look at it, let alone play on it. Not when it reminded her so much of her father. No though..her fingers itched to touch it. Itched to strum it, to see how well it survived after all these years.

 

“I took it.” Clarke jumped when she heard her friend’s voice from the doorway. “Ya know, out of the dumpster.” Clarke blinked at her in surprise, wondering why. “I knew you would regret it later; knew you were just grieving.” The blonde swallowed hard, because she did regret it. There had been several times when she wished for her guitar, wish she could lose herself to the music. 

 

“Thank you…” Clarke whispered, her throat tightening with emotion.

 

“Of course.” Raven said just as softly. “You can touch it, ya know. It is yours. No one’s touch it since you did last.” Clarke nodded, almost numbly, before going over to it. She gently ran the tips of her fingers down it’s neck and body, as if she would break it if she wasn’t gentle. Raven watched her with sadness, wishing she could comfort her friend more.

 

“Does Octavia and Bell know I’m here?” Clarke asked after a few moments. She knew Raven still spoke to them, over heard Raven’s conversation with Bellamy last night.

 

“They..do.” Raven said carefully. “But, I told them not to worry.”

 

“Bell, not worry?” Clarke said with a small smile, still looking at her guitar. “That’ll be a first.” The brunette chuckled.

 

“He’s changed, Clarke.” Raven said seriously after a moment. “We all have.”

 

“I know.” Clarke whispered, the tone in her voice making Raven’s heart break.

 

“I have to head to work..” Raven said after a few moments of silence. “If you head out, leave a note so I don’t worry.”

 

“I will. I promise.” Clarke replied.Raven nodded, biting her lip, before turning and leaving. Clarke looked over to where her friend had been standing, then back at her instrument. She hesitantly picked it up and strummed a few cords. It sounded amazing still. She smiled slightly before strumming a few more cords, getting lost in the music.

 

________________

_______________

 

“So just find this girl?” Jasper asked, looking between Lexa and Murphy. “That’s it?”

 

“Yes, please, it’s very important.” Lexa said with a nod. “Can you do it?”

 

“Can we do it? Pssh.” Monty chuckled. “This is child’s play.”

 

“Easy for you to say.” Jasper said. “I’m still learning.”

 

“Don’t worry young padawan, I’ve got this.” Monty said with a smile. “We’ll help you find her.”

 

“Thank you.” Lexa said with a small smile.

 

“No worries.” Monty smiled back. “Now, give me her number. It’s one of the easiest ways to track someone. If she still has her phone then we’ll find her in less than an hour. Easy.”

 

“Okay, good.” Lexa said then rattled off Clarke’s number to the boys. Jasper went out of the room to grabbed her laptop from the other room. When they came back they both set up to work. Lexa breathed a sigh of relief while watching them; hope starting to grow in her chest. Maybe, just maybe, there was a chance she would find Clarke after all.

She was startled out of her thoughts when Monty spoke up not twenty minutes later.

 

“Got it.” The asian boy said with a grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And guess what?
> 
> LESS THAN A WEEK LEFT OF SCHOOL AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
> 
> Also, who's not ready for tonight's episode? :')
> 
> Come talk to me on either Tumblr (the_100_cats) kik (gaitorbait55) or instagram (kom_trikru) :)


	7. AUTHOR'S NOTE

I am so sorry.

I know it has been ages since my last update, I am truly sorry. A lot has happened this summer... one of the biggest things is that my best friend of 5 years committed suicide a few weeks into summer and it's been very hard moving on from that. Then a family member of mine was almost raped; twice. I've been helping/dealing with that as well. So again, I apologies for the wait. I just wanted to let everyone know that I have NOT abandoned this fic, or my other ones. I have just been heart broken and mourning. I hope to have at least a small update within the next week or two. Sorry for the little extra waiting :(

Thank you for sticking around <3

-Spike


	8. AUTHOR NOTE

I want to apologize for such a long wait on this fanfic. Like I really am sorry. There's a lot of things that have been going on in my life, some good and bad. I graduated from high school! Proud of myself for that. But then my scholarship fell through so I wasn't able to go to college. I'm in the middle of getting my drivers license then Appling for a job, which will help me with college finances so I'm really hoping I can still go to or get college credits because I really do want to go. I uh, broke up with me girlfriend. We split, we had so much on our plates. It sucked, for awhile. We hated each other for a bit afterwards, but now we talked about it, our issues and such. And we are slowly making out our way back into a relationship. It's going to take some time, she understand this. I have way to much baggage with me, but she's changed and shes helping as much as she can. I couldn't ask for anything else. I still have to do all this in secret because my parents are still homophobic and that's one of the main reasons why I still don't have a laptop unfortunately. I'm 18, graduated, and I'm still not allowed a phone or laptop. My dad is letting me have a phone for emergencies, we have to hide it from mom obviously. It's whatever, I'm Hopping that once I get a job I'll be able to move out afterwards. After I save some cash of course.

Anyways, what I wanted to say was I haven't written anything in a long time and I miss it dearly. So i was thinking, i dont really like the 2nd arc of this series. The first was ok, but I dont like at all how the 2nd part is going. I wont take it down for now, but I am going to rewrite it entirely. There will be a bit if a time jump in it, the characters will be better written, etc. I'm a more experienced writer than I was when I first started my freshman year. The only problem with this is that since i only have a phone, a secret one, updates will be slower than my normal once a week. It might be every 2 weeks possibly. Depends on how much I write. Now I write things in a journal, revise it there, then type it out. It helps me more in all honesty. So that being said, would everyone be alright with that? I know some people might have given up on this story, I'm sorry for that. And I am entirely grateful for those who have stay with me. I will also be continouing "Angel with a Shotgun" because I had big plans for that as well. I might have to do one sorry at a time though. I'll be posting this same note on that story as well, so apologizes for getting you all hyped up.

Best wishes <3

Gaitorbait


End file.
